Thursday, September 17, 2009

Super Sketchy Shot Shack

This article is dedicated to my darling and dainty Deb Strickland and punctual but perfect Phyllis (should I have used functional and fabulous Phyllis?):

Why hello fine and fabulous readers! In order to entertain myself this cool and comfortable evening. I am going to try to use as many alluring alliterations as available in my refined and reputable vocabulary. First I should share with you our super sketchy shot shindig this morning at the dull, dark, and daunting docks of Montevideo. We hopped abroad a big, bulky, brassy bus and headed down to the Port of Montevideo where there was waiting a ominous and open door into a shady and shallow room on which the next door said something like "Department of Epidemiology." Upon our abrupt arrival at said painted port of entry, we whistled and wandered as we waited for the door to be open. A wise and willful woman of short stature appeared to warn us of the clear and clever contraindications and we were urgently ushered into the next room. After the miniscule and musical man sang aloud our private passport numbers in super-speedy Spanish, I walked to the wise and willful doctor woman to have my arm poked, pinched, and purified before the short and stinging shot. Thankfully the stinging was indeed short although I found it funny to feign illness as I stood up. Boy did I give my dear and darling director quite a furious but fleeting fright. We bumbled and boarded the running and roaring bus and headed to the Brazilian consulate where we were brave but bored to again reluctantly release our private passport numbers and simply super and suave signatures. When the legal letter regarding our extravagant exit from said country was daringly denied, we bumbled aboard the bus again and came clucking to our comfy and cosy casa. (Is it cheating if I use some sparing Spanish?)

Leading up to our lovely and luscious lunch of cheeky and chunky cheery chicken, I slaved and slumped over my hounding hemorrhage of homework. After said delicious and delightful delicacies, I woefully walked to my terrifying and tormenting teacher of Spanish. However, the mad and mastering maestra (teacher in spanish) was sadly sick and henceforth absent from said class. But we were willingly taken in by such a bearded and bounding teacher that you can't even imagine. Señor Mumbly-Mustache was vast and reminded me of a cheery and chipper chap known as St. Nicholas.

After three taunting and tantalizing hours of torture, we retreated to our healthy and hallowed haven. But it was not long after that that I was surprisingly summoned to the attractive and alluring Aliansza to lead a enchanting English conversation club for Uruguayos to learn English. We had tons of terrific laughs and long language conversations about what it is like to love and lose yourself whilst language learning. Oh the striking similarities and daunting disillusionments we came clambering to throughout the tough but tender conversation. Likewise on the boisterous bus to our humble haven once more, we met another mustached man who spoke our elegant and endearing English we miss so much. Finally at the end of the long and lumbering day, I am slyly sitting here, in my chair (rhyme, eh?) chatting and chalking out what will the be the chipper conclusion of this long-winded and lovely lecture. So I suppose the taunting terminus of this timid talk is teaming with curiosity of what the next post will hold. But surprises would be merely prizes without the sur of the sulky south making them much more. So thus I end, be gallant in your greenhouses and brave in your barns, be swift as the slumbering sea, and clever as the cow's calf. And remember thus: An essay drenched in daring yet alluring alliterations is worth every slipping single second it takes to compose and conclude.

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