A Good-bye, a plane, a family, and a tear

I don't know exactly what I put on my last blog...but I will start with Sunday anyway. 

I woke up early and began to pack. I packed up two suitcases and a tub of things. I got so much stuff at then end from saying good-bye to everyone, that I filled another suitcase (other than the one's I had brought). It was pretty ridiculous. I went to church and taught the last lesson with my kids there. I taught about Samuel and even though we didn't have songbooks, we sang anyway. 

Then we had our last church service and I found out that I did have some Samoan songs learned almost completely. But it was fairly sad, but all the kids held it together as we said our good-byes. I went back home and packed some more. Then I loaded my suitcases my borrowed car and drove for the last time to Nu'uuli. 

It was hard, but I stood in the doorway of the church and said goodbye to all the members as they came in for evening church. Most of the girls wouldn't say goodbye to me because they said they were coming to the airport to see me off (a big cultural thing in Samoa).

I then went and took my things to the airport. We waited in line for like an hour and a half to check my bags in because of the line. In Samoa, if anyone in your family (even your mother's cousins sisters girlfriends brother) is working the counter, you can cut in line because you are family. So for those of us with no family...the process is quite long. 

After that I went to Jerry's and ate. I was doing good so far. I knew the hardest goodbyes were to come. 

Then we went to the airport and a lot of the Samoan's from Nu'uuli were there to see me off. We talked and chatted as we got rained on. They were mostly getting really cold (it was still warm-ish by my standards) but they were shivering and pulling their sleeves down. It was really endearing. I was still completely stable. 

When it came time to say goodbye, though, the tears started. John gave me a beautiful bracelet (that I am yet to take off for an extended period of time). And some of the girls gave me earrings, and shell ulas (necklaces). I wore them all the way home. By this point I had started crying. I said long exaggerated goodbyes and started to walk towards security. I looked back and some of my friends were waving, others had turned away (probably crying too). I kept looking back and walking forward (the hardest thing I have ever done). Right before they disappeared from my line of sight, Steven, a kid from my class, and his little sister appeared. I couldn't cross the lines anymore to hug them and I will always remember the feeling of just waving and saying I love you in sign language to them. They looked so sad...

When I did get out of their line of sight, I thought it would get easier, but it didn't. I cried all the way to security and while waiting to board. A nice Christian lady and some soldiers bound for Iraq tried to comfort me (ironic huh?). The lady asked if I had family in Samoa, or if I lived there, trying to figure out why I was upset. I just said that I was leaving friends. And she understood. I talked to the soldiers and they were really nice. They are spending a month in Texas and asked me how it would be there. I hope that they all get to go home safely. When I got on the plane, I sat by a nice girl that immediately went to sleep. I wrote a little and fell asleep watching "Definitely Maybe". It was cute but it didn't capture my attention...

When we landed I went painlessly through customs and immigration. It was really easy, they didn't even open my bags. Then I sat and waited for my mom and uncle and cousin. They got there and we went back to the house. Everyone was waking up and hungry for breakfast and I was the opposite. I tried to sleep and showed my mom some souveniors and passed the day talking about Samoa and missing it dearly. I only cried one time during the day yesterday and that is when I was talking about saying goodbye and Steven and his little sister waving at the gate...

I am trying desperately to enjoy Hawaii but I miss Samoa so much it is a physical pain. It is the worst when I get tired or see something Samoan. I am a spoiled brat because I am in beautiful tropical Hawaii and I honestly think it is ugly compared to my beautiful Samoa. I dream of going back to Samoa but who knows. I want to remember, but I need to move on. 

Please be in serious prayer about my situation and my heart right now. I want to enjoy this time with my family, but I miss the people in Samoa so much that when I think about it it gets hard to breathe...